Or an open “hate” letter to men out there
I’ve been mad/upset with half of the humans I know from the opposite sex lately and this time I INDEED have a valid reason to be, it’s kind of a long story so get comfortable, take a sip of whatever you drink when you’re mad (if I had the power to materialize drinks, I would magically appear a margarita glass on the table) and read me:
Part 1: Things that Cam gets upset about
It all starts at work and happens on a daily basis: I get down from the bus, walk down the entrance and pass through the glass doors just after I pass my entry card, and most days there’s a man holding the door for me. Holding doors is nice, but do they really have to do it each time I pass through a door? Before my morning snack, before lunch, after lunch, during lunch, there’s always a man willing to hold the door for me, sometimes it even gets awkward.
Do you remember that kind of dance you do when someone wants to pass and you’re walking in the direction where he’s coming from and you both switch and switch sides to make room for the other but no one actually passes and you keep eternally getting in eachother’s way? It’s just like that, but worse.
As I said, I find it a nice gesture when it naturally happens but when you work in a place with genetically engineered men that always ALWAYS open the door for you, your logical angry part starts wondering why can’t you open your own doors. I need no man to hold the door for me.
As the day goes by it gets more annoying: As some of you might know, I’m currently working at a cosmetic’s company and things are mostly a living cliché inside (they’re all really nice humans but I can’t help it, they’re exactly what you would expect of a company that lives for women’s personal image). When I got the internship I knew I was not the most informed for it but I didn’t imagine it the way it is.
Since everything spins around makeup and being pretty and I’m working with mostly 35+ y/o engineers, the assumptions they make about me are everywhere, including some about my lack of sparkly, bubbly, talky personality, which I’ll never have.
Part 2: Things that Cam gets REALLY upset about
Ignoring work, it doesn’t get better with the men I’m usually surrounded with. I don’t want to say “they’re all the same!” but I’m actually starting to notice this little trait that makes them all the same.
Internet defines it as mansplaining:
Mansplaining, a portmanteau of ‘Man’ and ‘Explaining’ is a term used to describe the action of a man explaining something to a woman, in a way that they deem sexist and/or condescending. The allegation of Mansplaining can be made by any woman at any time, provided they are ignorant of the double standards of using an insult designed to belittle someone of a particular gender on he basis of a stereotype — Taken from The Bible (aka Urban Dictionary).
Yes, I’m aware of the really bold radical feminist tint of the definition, but I don’t find it that bad. It’s a bit over used but I’m starting to like it.
Why am I saying this?
The situations that made me consider the term for the first time are all related with relationships and they way they work sometimes.
I think that in anything related to that subject, it works better if the human beings involved treat each other as an equal, rather than an extension of themselves or someone they have to take care of or watch over, and I’ve seen so many attitudes that are a complete opposite of that…
Like when they call you “hysteric”, “crazy”, “unstable”, “exaggerated” or “therapy” because they don’t like what you’re saying, or when they think they know what’s best for the relationship and do it right away.
Are they letting you know first? No way, you wouldn’t get it. I mean maybe you would but it’s pointless anyways because they’re right as usual, am I right? The know what’s best for you, they know what would make you happy and don’t want to bother telling you, what’s the purpose? Fight? Letting you change their mind? No thanks.
Relationships around me seem to crumble and fall. I’ve been finding out about more and more details (yes I admit it, I like to gossip) and in my head it looks the same so, so often: Someone decided what was best alone.
Sharing everything won’t always save a relationship but being open about the real motifs and threating each other as an equal makes a big difference, leaves both spirits in peace (or something similar) and disappears lots of bad dreams, bad ideas and sad thoughts.
Cam’s VERY important sidenote before she continues (#1): I know there are mean girls and shitty girlfriends, I’m not saying women are all perfect and flawless and have the last word in everything. I think no one should have the last word, it’s an always evolving thing and as I said, there must be some way of equality.
Part 3: Cam is ACTUALLY getting upset while writting so be ready
I’m mad at the bro culture.
I’m mad about the way most of the things a girl gets mad about are nonsense, weird or over the top, and they bro about it and make support groups out of complaints.
Please aknowledge that while us girls can behave in strange ways sometimes (I do recognize I have rage attacks out of nothing but it’s because I’m kind of an emotional person, not because I’m a girl), they are the most ilogical creatures on earth, share the highest egoes and the weirdest traditions.
Cam’s other sidenote (#2): After all my field studies I’ve reached the next conclussion: Guys lack of logic as girls lack of coherence.
How am I being a microfeminist?
I’m making up the word “microfeminist” out of nothing because I feel like it defines it in a nice way (I really made it up, I tried to google it and nothing came out).
Dear true feminists that may read this: Please don’t hate me.
I find myself a self-defined microfeminist because lately I’ve realized I’m not ok with a lot of things that usually happen in society and are considered pretty normal until someone sees them.
I get mad at strangers that yell at me “Hello, gorgeous!” when I’m walking down the street, at commercials making assumtions about who’s going to clean the house with the products they’re advertising (I’m talking to you, soap commercials!), at cosmetics saying all women should be beautiful and delicate as roses, and most of all at each man that doesn’t let me open my own door every morning.
Cam’s last sidenote (#3): Before you start crying like little babies, I don’t entirely hate men, I’m not a crazy men hater, I’m mostly an upset person on a friday night. I also want to say I’m excluding from this narrative, as Taylor Swift would say, all the not straight kind of relationships because I’m not wise enough about those dynamics yet. Sorry folks, I promise I’ll study!